Tuesday, March 23, 2010


Sam's By the Sea

Well, tomorrow is the big day! My last AC chemo. In April I will have a scan to see how the chemo is working. I have a spot in my lung and two near my collar bone. If the chemo made them shrink, then my cancer stage will change. My doctor isn't real sure that it is cancer, but the radiologist thinks different. We will see. Please be in prayer for this!! At the end of April, I will start Herceptin for my HER2 type tumor. I will on this for a whole year. It is administered the same way that chemo is. One week after the Herceptin begins, I will start on my third type of chemo, Taxol. This will be every week for twelve weeks and I have been told that I will lose the hair that has still been hanging on, including eyelashes. The great news is that Taxol does NOT cause the nausea problems!! HALLELUJAH!!!!!!

As I have stated in other posts, this time I have had a much harder time being out of bed. I did manage to make it to church a few times. I really miss the preaching and spending time with our people. My husband preached on marriage Sunday night. He made the statement that he would never want to live the single life again. After 29 years, we are best friends and it was fun to listen to the sermon and laugh at the mistakes we have made through the years! What a wonderful husband I have!!!

Our people have been so sweet to me. I have been CRAVING lemon filled, powdered sugar donuts!!! We have a family that has taken it upon themselves to make sure I get a weekly fix!! Such a blessing is a small thing like a lemon donut, but oh how much it means to me!!!

Last Tuesday we were invited to eat dinner with one of our young couples at Sam's (our very favorite restaurant) for the wife's birthday. When it came time to pay the bill, the waitress told us that our friends had picked up the check!! What a way to celebrate!! The next evening the couple was baptized!

Hubby, Me, Evelyn, and Adam

Lastly, as I have to spend so much time in my bedroom, my wonderful husband decided I needed some flowers to look at as I lay in my LOVELY king size bed!!

So he went to the store and came back with flowers and a flower box.  Then he drilled holes in the cement outside my window and place the flower box!  Isn't he THOUGHTFUL?!  You may also notice my Hoops and Yoyo C-U-T-E thingy!  I LOVE Hoops and Yoyo and last Wednesday after the baptism Mrs. McGuire handed me a gift bag and this was inside!  It even talks and tells me just how C-U-T-E  I am.  (of course I already know this!)

Well, off to get ready to go!  Have a good weekend and I will see you all next week!  Remember:
James 1:17 Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, and cometh down from the Father of lights, with whom is no variableness, neither shadow of turning. 

Wednesday, March 17, 2010


Abigail Miller is one of the people that ministers to me every day. She and I have never hung out as pals, never had coffee together, never talked on the phone, never even met. However, Abigail has used the talent the Lord gave her to write songs that minister to my soul and spirit. One of those songs is "The Mountaintop". The Lord is using this song to encourage my heart greatly through my current valley.

This round of chemo has been exceptionally hard for me and I have not been able to bounce back. I know the Lord is carrying me as I would just quit otherwise. I CANNOT do this journey and the battles that ensue in my own strength.

2 Corinthians 12:9 And he said unto me, My GRACE is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.

There’s that Grace I keep talking about!!! That’s how I get through. That’s how I can still smile. That’s where my joy comes from. His GRACE. If you happen to call or see me while my flesh is down, my joy seems depleted, my sorrow is deep; just realize that the Lord is working His grace in my life and a new wave is on its way.


Some may walk on mountains, and drink that mountain air,
But others are not suited to stay for long up there.
It seems I've seen more valleys lately, in my pilgrim way.
The sun is often hiding, and the clouds are often gray.

Oh, I've not seen the sunset from the mountaintop in years,
And I've not seen the stars shine from up where it's bright and clear.
But I have never lost my faith in sunshine and in stars.
I know that mountaintop cannot be far.

So keep on climbin', pilgrim, and don't give way to fear.
In the mountain or the valley, the Lord is always near.
And He knows every step you take--He'll never lose your way.
The path He puts your feet upon leads to the cloudless day!

Sometimes we see the journey, and so forget the end,
But if we keep on holding to the hand of God our friend,
One day the clouds will break apart, and suddenly we'll see,
The mountaintop is right beneath our feet!


I know that mountaintop cannot be far.

Keep on holding to His hand. If you don’t know my Lord, He wants to know you. He wants to hold your hand and take you through the valley and up the mountain to the top. Please don’t let this day pass without trusting in what He did on the cross for you! I am begging, pleading with you.

Romans 10:9-13
1. That if thou shalt confess with thy mouth the Lord Jesus,
2. and shalt believe in thine heart that God hath raised him from the dead,
3. thou shalt be saved. For with the HEART man believeth unto righteousness; and with the mouth confession is made unto salvation. For the scripture saith, Whosoever believeth on him shall not be ashamed. For there is no difference between the Jew and the Greek: for the same Lord over all is rich unto all that call upon him. For WHOSOEVER shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved.

Today I received an email about another pastor’s wife who is going through a very deep valley. We went to college with them. I know she took that step to receive the free gift of grace that the Lord offers to anyone that would take it. PLEASE don’t put it off!!

Maybe you have already trusted the Lord and you are going through the valley without Him. Take His hand and keep going. Don't give up!! Don't quit!!

"One day the clouds will break apart, and suddenly we'll see,
The mountaintop is right beneath our feet!"

Thursday, March 11, 2010


March 9th

Ephesians 6:2 Honour thy father and mother; which is the first commandment with promise;

March 9th came and went this year and to many people it was just an ordinary day. On that day I lay in bed sick with my chemo, wondering if the nausea would ever pass, and remembering those last few hours with my mother twenty-five years ago. It was a bittersweet day when I kissed my mother for the last time. I remember wanting her to stay, but knowing and asking the Lord to ease her suffering. She had fought a battle which had started the summer before. I remember the day we found out for sure it was cancer.

Randy had checked out for leave on Friday afternoon from the base in Pensacola and we drove the short distance to the state park in Gulf Shores, Alabama. It took us a couple of hours to get our site set up due to the fact that we were ready for any situation and had provisions for a whole week of camping. It was a beautiful night and before we turned in, we went to call Mom in Minnesota to see what the lung specialist had to say about her recent xrays. When my mom answered the phone she just started weeping and told me it was inoperable lung cancer and it had already spread to her lymph nodes. As I hung up the pay phone(cell phones were only on tv), Randy was already making a list of what we needed to do to get me to Minnesota by the next day. There was another young couple across from our site and I will never forget how they came over and just started helping us pack up with just the headlights from the car. The car was loaded and ready for the short drive home within 20 minutes.

It was a difficult time as Randy and I juggled our marriage over many miles. The Lord was with us and that time in our lives made our relationship with each other much stronger. I knew then that the Lord had given me the right man for a husband. I went to Minnesota that Labor Day weekend and would stay until shortly before Mom’s battle would finish.

Mom told me in the middle of February that it was time for me to return to Randy and let her finish her days in the hospice wing of the rehab center. She said, “You are the last thing I am hanging on to and it is time for you to go.” The cancer had already passed to her liver and her brain by this point. I was obedient to my mom one last time and went home to be with my husband. Then came the call on March 8th that her time was short. Randy and I boarded a plane and flew to be with Mom as she completed her journey on this earth.

Twenty-Five years later and I still feel that deep empty void she left on that day. The Lord has made the pain bearable, but through the years I have learned that the Lord made a unique spot in my life for Mom and only she can fill it. It wasn’t meant to be filled by someone else. I’m so thankful that I do not have regret to go with that void. I’m glad I took the opportunity I had to care for my mom, love my mom, and make peace with my mom. How about you? Do you have a mom still on this earth; call her, email her, hug her, take her to lunch, take her on a cruise! I don’t care how you do it, but let her know that you love her.

Friday, March 5, 2010

3rd Chemo Round

Ladies Meeting at the Loop (a wonderful tea shop)

Dinner at Sams, my favorite restaurant, the night before my 3rd chemo.
How do you like my new wig????

Hello all. It is day 3 and I am not doing so hot. Nausea, fatigue, and other side effects. I only have 1 more of this particular kind of chemo. This battle is wearying at times and today is one of those times. I think the hardest part of all of this is my inability to be available to the ladies of our church. They have been such a blessing to me. One of our ladies just found out she is pregnant with her first baby, but today she was told that she might miscarriage. I would love to take her to dinner or take her some flowers, but all I can do is lay in my bed and pray for her.  I know the Lord will take her through this as He took me through some similar times many years ago. 

I see so many people suffering around me and wonder why I whine about my circumstances.  I have a wonderful husband and daughter who take great care of me.  A church family that would help at the drop of a hat.  A good doctor who is willing to listen to me.  And a God in Heaven that loves me no matter what!  Yet the side effects of the chemo and the swelling in my body from the steroids, really can discourage me.  Please continue to pray for me that I could conquer my self! 

I hesitated to share this part of my journey.  I want to always be positive, but sometimes the journey is hard and today is one of those times.  Thank you for your prayers and your love through this journey and todays particular battle.

Getting ready for chemo with Spot!

My nurses this week along with Spot!!!